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kadrinI now have twelve army lists and twelve 500 point rosters from those army lists worked up in Warsurge. Sadly, due to my arbitrary cruelty and a desire for more audience participation whenever possible, only eight of these armies can go into the First Inaugural Tournament To See Who Is Best And Who Is Not Best, in which all of them will probably be played by me. Some might say that the other four are the lucky ones, because they don't have to go to war with one another. But that's no fun.
Please vote for three of these armies in order. If you do not determine an order I will assign them the order you first wrote them down in, because again, aribtrariness. The first will receive three points, the second two, the third one. The eight armies with the most points will then go into a single elimination tournament and the winner will be crowned Currently Best Army.
Here's a short description! There will be a longer description under a cut.
Bone Dance - army of skeletons led by armoured reapers
Brotherhood of the Left and Right Hand - samurai and ninja mercenaries
Caerul Space Empire - blue-skinned egotistical fake-Roman space imperialists
Children of the Sylvan Dynasty - wood elves and high elves attempting to get the band back together
Defenders of Earth-Primary - a loose group of heroes from the various timelines of Earth aiming to have amazing adventures that could be retold in a pulp magazine
FANIR Corporation Asset Protection Division - corporate space marines in a dystopian future
Forces of the Deep - fishmen furthering the will of octopoid overlords
Guardians of the Pyramids - ancient Egyptians, mummies, you know the drill
Hell of Incursions - demons. just demons. can't have a DOOM game without demons.
Hillbilly Stillguard - it is their land, and it is your job to get off it
Order of St Amelle - Church Militant knights out to protect some very, very vulnerable villagers
The Forest's Will - mostly trees, but a few dryads as well. the dryads have a very, very nasty trick up their nonexistent sleeve.
Bone Dance
The Bone Dance is a natural phenomenon, a response to starvation, disease, and misery. These dark emotions seep into the ground and raise the bones of the dead into a force of skeletons, and these skeletons then attract a Death Mistress – the corpse of a dancer, or other graceful woman, who died tragically young. The Mistress is sealed into a suit of heavy armour, which limits her grace less than one might expect, and she leads her skeletons in a dance across the land, bones moving in terrible rhythm. They kill everything they can, raising the dead as more skeletons in their train, and in their movements they make more and more profane artifacts from bones and other grisly trophies of death, which they use to continue slaying others. The Dance continues until some force halts it, or until the Mistress ceases of her own strange accord, and leaves her minions to go elsewhere. There are those who say that the Bone Dance is nature’s own mercy; that when too many people are starving or diseased, the Dance comes to thin the herd.
Brotherhood of the Left and Right Hand
The Brotherhood is an army without a nation, a group of soldiers dedicated to the code of bushido, and the idea that only in battle, and on the verge of death, is life truly lived. They are essentially mercenaries, but they cannot be hired – a leader with a noble cause, a dearth of soldiers, and an excess of money might find the Brotherhood presenting themselves for service. The name represents their two forces, kept almost completely separate. The Left Hand, named for the hand that holds the shield, is the army of samurai, strong, honourable warriors facing their opponents at all times, an unbreakable force to protect the land and the vulnerable. The Right Hand, named for the hand that holds the sword, is the army of ninja, who will infiltrate, assassinate, and kill without mercy or honour at any cost. It is the Brotherhood’s belief that only the two together provide a lethal power, and it’s held up so far.
Caerul Space Empire
The Caerul people are quite clear on their primacy. They are, after all, the first truly intelligent life to exist in the universe; any life that seems both intelligent and older is actually only one of those things, or possibly neither. Their technology is the greatest and most powerful; any technology that seems better is showy nonsense or dangerous and in need of destruction. They have created the most sensible, just, and efficient form of government – an imperial state with devolved colonies – and any form of government that seems to conflict with that is tyrannous, anarchist, or unworkable in the long run. And if anyone disagrees with any of these points, that is why the Caerul Space Empire has the Glorious Legions. (Note: existing outside of the Caerul Space Empire is considered disagreement with the above points.) Young, hungry, blue-skinned Caerul seek life in the Legions in their masses, hoping for the thrill of combat and the inevitability of glory. Really, it's a kindness to the unenlightened masses; it’s been proven, after all, that life in the Caerul Empire is the best.
Children of the Sylvan Dynasty
In the long forgotten mists of history, there was only one elven people. These elves lived wherever nature was strong, and devoted themselves equally to magic and philosophy, to grove-tending and to craft. Over time, the elven people split into two, the wood elves who maintained their magic and their reverence of nature, and the sun elves who dreamed of a perfect understanding of the world. Distrust came with this schism. The wood elves saw the sun elves as deluded traitors. The sun elves saw the wood elves as backwards fanatics. Wars and destruction split the two people further apart. It is only recently, in the wake of several great catastrophes, that factions within the wood elves and the sun elves are willing to discuss reunification. Perhaps, with time, there will again be one elven people – or many elven peoples, but all connected.
Defenders of Earth-Primary
Professor Samuel Pendleton always knew that space and time were more fluid than even the greatest minds suspected, and theorised that the revolutionary Theory of General Relativity perhaps didn’t even go far enough. But in the wake of the horrors of the Great War, few wanted to think about great new possibilities that could also be great new threats – they were tired, and to be very honest, had earned their rest. It was up to those who could still stand, Professor Pendleton surmised, the most valiant people of knowledge and valour, art and science, the mind and the hand combined, to protect the peace of those who could not. And so, when it became apparent not only that the universe was malleable, but that the universe itself was part of a vast and permeable multiverse, Professor Pendleton was ready – with valiant heroes from the past, present, and future of Earth-Primary, to protect the peace!
(Earth-Primary is the name Professor Pendleton gave to their existing Earth. It is not to be confused with other Earths through the multiverse such as Earth Prime, Earth One, Earth Alpha, Initial Earth, True Earth, Earth Origin, Central Earth, and Earth.)
FANIR Corporation Asset Protection Division
Extra-terrestrial colonies were always a difficult idea to make reality. The technology that made anything off-earth even possible, and still a far cry from easy, was atmospheric regulation. And with government investment even in rocketry a hard sell to the public, atmospheric regulation became the domain of the FANIR corporation. The eventual result of the United Earth Government controlling the Earth, and FANIR controlling the colonies, was a surprise to very few people (the UEG among them). And while FANIR made sure Colonial Guard was a joint project between FANIR and the UEG Military, the Asset Protection Division was wholly under FANIR control, and what started as a small security asset with the troubling affectation of skull-design helmets was soon a massive interplanetary military arm, taking new and occasionally lightly inhabited planets autonomously for new FANIR colonies. It certainly isn’t established whether FANIR’s APD could take on Earth’s military, but it is not something Earth wants to gamble on.
Forces of the Deep
Life began in the sea. Amino acids and proteins splitting and recombining, creating living organic material. Intelligence, too, was formed in the sea, where the deep water’s repulsion of gravity allowed beings of radial symmetry to flourish. Then, an upstart lungfish made its way onto the sand, and since then, basing their civilisation on the previously unknown resource of fire, the descendants of that lungfish grew and spread and, in their hubris, thought themselves greater than their ancestors. These creatures no longer feel the pressures of the dark below, and they have long since lost the humility that comes with gazing into crushing abysses that brook no weakness of flesh. This has, so far, been acceptable to them, even a boon. Now, however, their cephalogod elders have mustered the ocean against them. Flippered, clammy beings made to thrive on the surface take the lead, where serpents and eventually the masters themselves will follow. The tide is turning.
Guardians of the Pyramids
All good things come from two sources; the sun, and the Ulefuau river. The sun and the river bring the water and light for the crops, the mud and the heat to make bricks, the alluvial gold and its shine, the trading boats and their navigation. The sun rises, and it sets. The river floods, and it recedes. Everything is a cycle, and so too is life. The Ulefu people know that this life is simply a precursor to another, and that that other life might too be a precursor to this one, and so they give their dead the benefits of long preparations, rituals, and grave goods, that they go on to the next stop on their journey well stocked. But for great figures, nobles, heroes, thinkers, artists, there is a dam in the river, and they are given the privilege of eternal life, and the duty of eternal guardianship. When the Ulefu people are threatened with destruction, then the mummies rise from their pyramid tombs, preserved with salves and spices, empowered by ritual grave magic. Those who would attack the people of the river, and bear the wrath of the living and dead alike, are themselves like the tide. Now, they are here. Soon, they are gone.
Hell of Incursions
With a thousand worlds, each with a thousand peoples, and a thousand dimensions in each people’s creations, there’s no denying that some of these alternate worlds are… unpleasant. Those worlds are called Hells, and mostly they are satisfied to take in the wanderers from other dimensions and to torment them until even the thin reeds of their last screams tighten into nothingness. This particular Hell, though, is close under the surface of a dozen different worlds, and it can almost taste their living, happy people, and it hungers. So close to its goal, it is alarmingly easy for this world to send its people into the physical worlds, to kill or capture or simply wreck what they find above. That is why this Hell is called the Hell of Incursions, and the next incursion is never far away.
Hillbilly Stillguard
It’s not the greatest land in the world, and the hill clans won’t argue the point. Best to raise pigs or chickens, because neither of them much care what they eat, and the land’s persnickety as to what it will yield. As to what goes into the moonshine, well, best not think about it, and just be happy that it’s a solid 120 proof. But it is THEIR land. They’ve been pushed off and denied other land, because they’re not the quality folks, because they’re not the big spenders that the banks and the government want to see. This, now, this is their land. They have made it their own over the decades. And if anyone wants to contest their claim to this land, well, these people’s debate tends to come in double-ought buckshot and it has a habit of resolving the argument right quick.
Order of St Amelle
Amelle was never martyred. When she healed the sick and fed the hungry and clothed the naked, those who exploited the dependency she was taking away did, indeed, strike against her. But when she was on the pyre, tied to the stake, and the torch was about to set light the kindling, the Great Protector took her bodily into the Heavens, leaving nothing but a wisp behind and denying her persecutors their prize. Thus was the Order started, and thus has it been supported for centuries, their Angel-Saint leaving their very simple instructions: when people are in need, give them what they need. And thus the Church Militant gives the people who need protection life and hope and sanctuary, standing as a wall against their enemies, and taking them in to solid stone abbeys, where their prayers bring down the Saint’s aegis. A Knight of Saint Amelle will not stand down, nor lower his arms, until there is nothing left to protect.
The Forest’s Will
It is a vapid truism to say that the forest is alive. Of course the forest is alive – every plant in it has its own form of life. The point is that the forest, itself, is alive. Each tree and bush and shelf of fungus is its own life, certainly, but it is also a cell in a greater entity, that responds to stimulus and provokes further stimuli itself. And as it grows in size and age, that life forms the beginning of intelligence, and reason, and thus it births the treefolk and the dryads that have their own, individual will. Working with the natural intelligence of the gathered plant entity, the Forest’s Will spreads the forest, grows and guards, tends and protects the trees. It is not kind to those who would despoil it.
Remember, if you don't contribute to this terrible and vicious battle, it'll still happen but it'll be less fun and I probably won't post pictures.
Please vote for three of these armies in order. If you do not determine an order I will assign them the order you first wrote them down in, because again, aribtrariness. The first will receive three points, the second two, the third one. The eight armies with the most points will then go into a single elimination tournament and the winner will be crowned Currently Best Army.
Here's a short description! There will be a longer description under a cut.
Bone Dance - army of skeletons led by armoured reapers
Brotherhood of the Left and Right Hand - samurai and ninja mercenaries
Caerul Space Empire - blue-skinned egotistical fake-Roman space imperialists
Children of the Sylvan Dynasty - wood elves and high elves attempting to get the band back together
Defenders of Earth-Primary - a loose group of heroes from the various timelines of Earth aiming to have amazing adventures that could be retold in a pulp magazine
FANIR Corporation Asset Protection Division - corporate space marines in a dystopian future
Forces of the Deep - fishmen furthering the will of octopoid overlords
Guardians of the Pyramids - ancient Egyptians, mummies, you know the drill
Hell of Incursions - demons. just demons. can't have a DOOM game without demons.
Hillbilly Stillguard - it is their land, and it is your job to get off it
Order of St Amelle - Church Militant knights out to protect some very, very vulnerable villagers
The Forest's Will - mostly trees, but a few dryads as well. the dryads have a very, very nasty trick up their nonexistent sleeve.
Bone Dance
The Bone Dance is a natural phenomenon, a response to starvation, disease, and misery. These dark emotions seep into the ground and raise the bones of the dead into a force of skeletons, and these skeletons then attract a Death Mistress – the corpse of a dancer, or other graceful woman, who died tragically young. The Mistress is sealed into a suit of heavy armour, which limits her grace less than one might expect, and she leads her skeletons in a dance across the land, bones moving in terrible rhythm. They kill everything they can, raising the dead as more skeletons in their train, and in their movements they make more and more profane artifacts from bones and other grisly trophies of death, which they use to continue slaying others. The Dance continues until some force halts it, or until the Mistress ceases of her own strange accord, and leaves her minions to go elsewhere. There are those who say that the Bone Dance is nature’s own mercy; that when too many people are starving or diseased, the Dance comes to thin the herd.
Brotherhood of the Left and Right Hand
The Brotherhood is an army without a nation, a group of soldiers dedicated to the code of bushido, and the idea that only in battle, and on the verge of death, is life truly lived. They are essentially mercenaries, but they cannot be hired – a leader with a noble cause, a dearth of soldiers, and an excess of money might find the Brotherhood presenting themselves for service. The name represents their two forces, kept almost completely separate. The Left Hand, named for the hand that holds the shield, is the army of samurai, strong, honourable warriors facing their opponents at all times, an unbreakable force to protect the land and the vulnerable. The Right Hand, named for the hand that holds the sword, is the army of ninja, who will infiltrate, assassinate, and kill without mercy or honour at any cost. It is the Brotherhood’s belief that only the two together provide a lethal power, and it’s held up so far.
Caerul Space Empire
The Caerul people are quite clear on their primacy. They are, after all, the first truly intelligent life to exist in the universe; any life that seems both intelligent and older is actually only one of those things, or possibly neither. Their technology is the greatest and most powerful; any technology that seems better is showy nonsense or dangerous and in need of destruction. They have created the most sensible, just, and efficient form of government – an imperial state with devolved colonies – and any form of government that seems to conflict with that is tyrannous, anarchist, or unworkable in the long run. And if anyone disagrees with any of these points, that is why the Caerul Space Empire has the Glorious Legions. (Note: existing outside of the Caerul Space Empire is considered disagreement with the above points.) Young, hungry, blue-skinned Caerul seek life in the Legions in their masses, hoping for the thrill of combat and the inevitability of glory. Really, it's a kindness to the unenlightened masses; it’s been proven, after all, that life in the Caerul Empire is the best.
Children of the Sylvan Dynasty
In the long forgotten mists of history, there was only one elven people. These elves lived wherever nature was strong, and devoted themselves equally to magic and philosophy, to grove-tending and to craft. Over time, the elven people split into two, the wood elves who maintained their magic and their reverence of nature, and the sun elves who dreamed of a perfect understanding of the world. Distrust came with this schism. The wood elves saw the sun elves as deluded traitors. The sun elves saw the wood elves as backwards fanatics. Wars and destruction split the two people further apart. It is only recently, in the wake of several great catastrophes, that factions within the wood elves and the sun elves are willing to discuss reunification. Perhaps, with time, there will again be one elven people – or many elven peoples, but all connected.
Defenders of Earth-Primary
Professor Samuel Pendleton always knew that space and time were more fluid than even the greatest minds suspected, and theorised that the revolutionary Theory of General Relativity perhaps didn’t even go far enough. But in the wake of the horrors of the Great War, few wanted to think about great new possibilities that could also be great new threats – they were tired, and to be very honest, had earned their rest. It was up to those who could still stand, Professor Pendleton surmised, the most valiant people of knowledge and valour, art and science, the mind and the hand combined, to protect the peace of those who could not. And so, when it became apparent not only that the universe was malleable, but that the universe itself was part of a vast and permeable multiverse, Professor Pendleton was ready – with valiant heroes from the past, present, and future of Earth-Primary, to protect the peace!
(Earth-Primary is the name Professor Pendleton gave to their existing Earth. It is not to be confused with other Earths through the multiverse such as Earth Prime, Earth One, Earth Alpha, Initial Earth, True Earth, Earth Origin, Central Earth, and Earth.)
FANIR Corporation Asset Protection Division
Extra-terrestrial colonies were always a difficult idea to make reality. The technology that made anything off-earth even possible, and still a far cry from easy, was atmospheric regulation. And with government investment even in rocketry a hard sell to the public, atmospheric regulation became the domain of the FANIR corporation. The eventual result of the United Earth Government controlling the Earth, and FANIR controlling the colonies, was a surprise to very few people (the UEG among them). And while FANIR made sure Colonial Guard was a joint project between FANIR and the UEG Military, the Asset Protection Division was wholly under FANIR control, and what started as a small security asset with the troubling affectation of skull-design helmets was soon a massive interplanetary military arm, taking new and occasionally lightly inhabited planets autonomously for new FANIR colonies. It certainly isn’t established whether FANIR’s APD could take on Earth’s military, but it is not something Earth wants to gamble on.
Forces of the Deep
Life began in the sea. Amino acids and proteins splitting and recombining, creating living organic material. Intelligence, too, was formed in the sea, where the deep water’s repulsion of gravity allowed beings of radial symmetry to flourish. Then, an upstart lungfish made its way onto the sand, and since then, basing their civilisation on the previously unknown resource of fire, the descendants of that lungfish grew and spread and, in their hubris, thought themselves greater than their ancestors. These creatures no longer feel the pressures of the dark below, and they have long since lost the humility that comes with gazing into crushing abysses that brook no weakness of flesh. This has, so far, been acceptable to them, even a boon. Now, however, their cephalogod elders have mustered the ocean against them. Flippered, clammy beings made to thrive on the surface take the lead, where serpents and eventually the masters themselves will follow. The tide is turning.
Guardians of the Pyramids
All good things come from two sources; the sun, and the Ulefuau river. The sun and the river bring the water and light for the crops, the mud and the heat to make bricks, the alluvial gold and its shine, the trading boats and their navigation. The sun rises, and it sets. The river floods, and it recedes. Everything is a cycle, and so too is life. The Ulefu people know that this life is simply a precursor to another, and that that other life might too be a precursor to this one, and so they give their dead the benefits of long preparations, rituals, and grave goods, that they go on to the next stop on their journey well stocked. But for great figures, nobles, heroes, thinkers, artists, there is a dam in the river, and they are given the privilege of eternal life, and the duty of eternal guardianship. When the Ulefu people are threatened with destruction, then the mummies rise from their pyramid tombs, preserved with salves and spices, empowered by ritual grave magic. Those who would attack the people of the river, and bear the wrath of the living and dead alike, are themselves like the tide. Now, they are here. Soon, they are gone.
Hell of Incursions
With a thousand worlds, each with a thousand peoples, and a thousand dimensions in each people’s creations, there’s no denying that some of these alternate worlds are… unpleasant. Those worlds are called Hells, and mostly they are satisfied to take in the wanderers from other dimensions and to torment them until even the thin reeds of their last screams tighten into nothingness. This particular Hell, though, is close under the surface of a dozen different worlds, and it can almost taste their living, happy people, and it hungers. So close to its goal, it is alarmingly easy for this world to send its people into the physical worlds, to kill or capture or simply wreck what they find above. That is why this Hell is called the Hell of Incursions, and the next incursion is never far away.
Hillbilly Stillguard
It’s not the greatest land in the world, and the hill clans won’t argue the point. Best to raise pigs or chickens, because neither of them much care what they eat, and the land’s persnickety as to what it will yield. As to what goes into the moonshine, well, best not think about it, and just be happy that it’s a solid 120 proof. But it is THEIR land. They’ve been pushed off and denied other land, because they’re not the quality folks, because they’re not the big spenders that the banks and the government want to see. This, now, this is their land. They have made it their own over the decades. And if anyone wants to contest their claim to this land, well, these people’s debate tends to come in double-ought buckshot and it has a habit of resolving the argument right quick.
Order of St Amelle
Amelle was never martyred. When she healed the sick and fed the hungry and clothed the naked, those who exploited the dependency she was taking away did, indeed, strike against her. But when she was on the pyre, tied to the stake, and the torch was about to set light the kindling, the Great Protector took her bodily into the Heavens, leaving nothing but a wisp behind and denying her persecutors their prize. Thus was the Order started, and thus has it been supported for centuries, their Angel-Saint leaving their very simple instructions: when people are in need, give them what they need. And thus the Church Militant gives the people who need protection life and hope and sanctuary, standing as a wall against their enemies, and taking them in to solid stone abbeys, where their prayers bring down the Saint’s aegis. A Knight of Saint Amelle will not stand down, nor lower his arms, until there is nothing left to protect.
The Forest’s Will
It is a vapid truism to say that the forest is alive. Of course the forest is alive – every plant in it has its own form of life. The point is that the forest, itself, is alive. Each tree and bush and shelf of fungus is its own life, certainly, but it is also a cell in a greater entity, that responds to stimulus and provokes further stimuli itself. And as it grows in size and age, that life forms the beginning of intelligence, and reason, and thus it births the treefolk and the dryads that have their own, individual will. Working with the natural intelligence of the gathered plant entity, the Forest’s Will spreads the forest, grows and guards, tends and protects the trees. It is not kind to those who would despoil it.
Remember, if you don't contribute to this terrible and vicious battle, it'll still happen but it'll be less fun and I probably won't post pictures.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-18 12:09 pm (UTC)1. Bone Dance, sounds rad. ('Starvation, disease and misery leading to a murderous skeleton army sounds rad' - Riona, 2023)
2. Brotherhood of the Left and Right Hand; they feel that only in battle is life truly lived, so it would be cruel to leave them out.
3. Hell of Incursions. 'Hell that comes to you' is a very scary concept, and I'm intrigued.
I misread 'In the long forgotten mists of history, there was only one elven people' as 'In the long forgotten mists of history, there were only eleven people' and I was fascinated by that concept. The Children of the Sylvan Dynasty lose my vote for not being the weird, claustrophobic tiny global population I'd hoped.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-18 02:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-04-18 11:57 pm (UTC)1) The Forest's Will! I have a thing for forests that fight back. Or just fight, as the case may be.
2) Hillbilly Stillguard. If they have a bard unit of some kind they had better be playing that banjo. Maybe a fiddle.
3) Brotherhood of the Left and Right Hand. Because of course.
no subject
Date: 2023-04-19 08:49 am (UTC)1: Brotherhood of the Left and Right Hand - 7 points
2: Order of St Amelle - 7 points
3: Bone Dance - 7 points
4: Defenders of Earth-Primary - 6 points
5: Hillbilly Stillguard - 6 points
6: The Forest's Will - 5 points
7: Hell of Incursions - 2 points
8: Forces of the Deep - 2 points
9: Caerul Space Empire - 1 point
10: Children of the Sylvan Dynasty - 0 points
11: FANIR Corporation Asset Protection Division - 0 points
12: Guardians of the Pyramids - 0 points
no subject
Date: 2023-04-21 08:43 am (UTC)