Siobhan still wants to do a YouTube channel, and so do I, so I've been messing around with video editing.

Three notes.

1) obviously gotta do something about that aliasing on the font, I think just exporting at a higher quality should do it. (I'll be using different fonts for actual finished product anyway.)
2) hang on to the end for the sweet sweet sound of Kadrinvoice.
3) IF SOUSA MARCHES ARE GOOD ENOUGH FOR MONTY GODDAMN PYTHON THEY'RE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME.

Hello Dreamwidth!

I have not been posting in a while not because of death or depression (mostly not depression) but just because I rarely think I have something to say that people would be interested in. I mean, I could go on for a very long time about the X-Wing miniatures game and my beautiful Lambda-Class Shuttle miniature, but I can only indulge in my own stereotype for so long before I implode into a nerd singularity. Siobhan is more and more interested in me doing YouTube stuff, probably at least partly because this will allow her to do some YouTube stuff before she turns 13 and is legally allowed to have her own channel; I'm amenable, but I'm not sure how this "not wanting to bother other people with my unimportant blatherings" will contribute to having a public video presence.

But this is not an unimportant blathering. This is a very important blathering. This is where I advertise brilliant entertainment and then ask you to give people money. Given Kickstarter and all, I am given to understand that this is now the purpose of the Internet. Far be it from me not to join in.

Are you fond of creepypasta? I mean in the ideal, not in the too-often actual "and then Slenderman popped up and the blood was hyperrealistic".
If not, are you fond of short horror fiction?
If not, are you fond of really clever short fiction, where the end typically recontextualises whatever you thought you knew before?
If not, that's a really strange thing not to be fond of, and also, are you fond of short fiction at all?

Because it's my personal opinion that Slimebeast is among the best creators of any of that stuff currently basically working for free on the Internet. You should go and look at some of his stories. Personal favourites include the following:

funnymouth
Watch for Willy
One More Time
Class Creeps
Retractions
Whatever
Stranger Danger

(For the less horror fannish, the mostly harmless ones are One More Time and Whatever.)

But that's just a selection, and there are some that it hurt my heart to cut out of that list. (Out of context: "it hurt my heart to cut out"; put that in a story some time.) If you're fond of any or all of those, and why shouldn't you be, they're great, look around the site and find others. I insist upon it.

Now about the asking for money bit; the gentleman in question has a Patreon account which is currently shockingly underfunded, and it seems he's going through some difficult times cash-wise. While I understand that we can't help everyone suffering from economic terribleness (even though I wanna, you guys, come on), I'm of the opinion that the really high-quality work he's provided so far is worth at least a few bucks. (And yes, I'm represented on the backers list there.) And from a purely selfish perspective, the more he gets paid, the less likely he is to die and as a result stop making quality fiction for me. STOP MAKING PEOPLE DIE AND NOT WRITE ME QUALITY FICTION. YOU MONSTERS.

(EDIT: Also you can look for connections between the stories because sometimes there are! I bring this up because I am INORDINATELY proud of discovering that "LeetHax" and "25 Cents" have an obvious shared monster I hadn't noticed before! It might be a funnymouth. I don't think so.)

Uh, speaking of quality fiction (the quality in question, in this case, being 'low'), I might very well be doing something based on one of Riona's awful horrible ideas, instead of what usually happens, which is Riona making something fantastic and well-written based on one of her awful horrible ideas. It'll be not nearly as good. You might like it.

Just cried for half an hour - full on crazy howling word-fragments crying - and I don't feel purged and renewed, I feel depressed and just as sad about all the same things, and still very volatile, but like I might be done crying. Might. Temporarily. Stupid New Agey poetic types. Your vague aphorisms incorrectly described my personal experience.

Also, while I know they're the first two posts in months, don't link this one to the last one; the Lego Movie is made of brilliant antitears and does not cause fits of absolute despair. Post hoc sed non proctor hoc.

(EDIT: Propter. I WAS SAD AND SLEEPY.)

I am 30 and still not dead.

So far 30 is a lot like 29 was, except that if I don't pick up antidepressants tomorrow morning I might just die of withdrawls.

We went out to a Moroccan restaurant as celebration! There was so much couscous.

Quantity's a tough tattle. Yesterday, my intentions boiled down to "make fudge, bring fudge to gaming night". I didn't intend to end up at "make all the fudge, fudge forever". And yet, here we are.

Dear Sir/Madam,

Your recent "Australia Needs Tony" front page put a perfect capper on a list of very classy comparisons of Kevin Rudd to cartoon characters, but it does make me wonder, why be shy? Any half-decent graphics designer could make a wonderful banner out of "The Unofficial Propaganda Arm Of The Coalition" or "Speaking Exclusively For Juggernaut-Style Corporations". Now there are some mottos! Either would certainly clear up any cognitive dissonance people suffer, when trying to reconcile any Daily Telegraph issue with the ideal of the press as an unbiased yardstick by which the public can separate reality from the advertisements and lies of interests far from their own.

After all, Australia as represented by her workers surely does not need Tony, in the same way that a fruiting tree does not need a hefty application of chainsaw. Australia as represented by her women certainly does not need Tony! Australia as represented by her gays and lesbians needs to be as far from Tony as possible. Australia as represented by her migrants needs to be PROTECTED from Tony. Australia as represented by her poor and her indigenous and her sick and her underprivileged and by everyone whose treatment marks the moral and proper judgement of a country is antithetical to ANY of Tony Abbott's beliefs or programs.

But as long as it's made clear that the official position of the Telegraph is that Australia is best represented by NewsCorp and no one else... well, then, cheers on an excellent series of covers. Cheers.

Much love,
- Patrick Phelan

A chunk of the Google history on my phone, sorted oldest-to-newest.

* mario lopez
* need to vomit sleepy
* berocca
* upset stomach
* time to microwave a heating pack
* diarrhoea and vomiting
* plain yoghurt
* food poisoning
* psy gentleman lyrics english

Behold the terrible secrets of modern illness.

Apparently Trump is pondering a 2016 Presidential run.

Now, normally I'd say "anyone who claims to be 'pondering a 2016 Presidential run' in 2013, especially anyone who 'ponders' it in the national press, is completely unserious and just begging for attention," but come now - how could one say that about such a noble, above-it-all, deeply serious figure as Donald "Terrible At Business Which Is The Thing He Claims To Be Good At" Trump?

(For the record, I thought that hating this man so much was a left-wing thing; you'll notice that I posted a link to an unapologetically left-wing site up there. I actually had to dig past several really rabid right-wing sites because I didn't want to link to them. So it's nice, really. We're agreed on this. I don't want him stinking up American politics, and while he's been courting the right, they don't want to vote for him. Bipartisanship!)

MAYBE JUST A LITTLE.

It is remarkable how many free games can be downloaded and/or played online these days AND, at the SAME TIME, are QUITE GOOD! I'm used to a system where you download and/or play indie games and they are AWFUL. But here's a list of some demos and free full games I've been playing recently that are NOT AWFUL.

NOT HORROR GAMES BASED ON RPG ENGINES
- SpaceChem! "SpaceChem is an obscenely addictive, design-based puzzle game about building machines and fighting monsters in the name of science!" It's based on real chemistry! It's make-me-cry hard! For me, at least. Because I'm terrible at everything. If you'd like, you can watch me putter around and hugely-inefficiently make a formaldehyde molecule! Not pictured: the actual reactor commands, which aren't actually tiny and invisible; the bazillion times I failed before succeeding.
- Burrito Bison: Revenge! I'm not linking the original Burrito Bison because this sequel is exactly like it except better at everything. I love the cartoony design and the gameplay is a lot of fun. It also has upgrades, which basically ensures that I'll play it forever. Seriously, "you can upgrade your character" is Kadrincrack and I do not know why.
- 300 Miles to Pigsland! I choose to believe that the pigs are heading to an Equestrian-style farm, where they will be used to dispose of rubbish and track truffles and NOT BE EATEN. A lot like a launch game, in that you fail a lot before you succeed, but it's a platformer, and it's pretty old school. It's cute! There's a rather good Angry Birds joke in it.
- Gemcraft: Labyrinth! Most tower defence games are pretty terrible, because it's just "build a thing and then stare at it until it's finished". This is one of the originals, though, so it's gotten better over time, and it's kind of fraught enough to keep you playing while still allowing adjustable strategy. It's enough to keep me enjoying it.

HORROR GAMES BASED ON RPG ENGINES
- OFF! If you know anything about anything you already know this game. It's more creepy than scary, at least so far. It's about elements. And work. And monarchy? And purifying places which may not be a good idea.
- The Witch's House! I already talked about The Witch's House. Jump scares, save at ALL TIMES, lots of creepy, shocking plot twists, it's really good, I liked it.
- Mad Father! It's a lot like The Witch's House, but without the need to save at all times, with fewer jump scares, more gore, creepier - it's very reminiscent of The Witch's House but better. Not much better, because The Witch's House was really good, but better. If you're only going to play one, play Mad Father; if you're going to play both, play The Witch's House first; if you're not going to play either because you don't like horror games but want to hear about them, talk to me 'cause I talk good.

THAT'S NOT A GAME
- Darkfast Classic Fantasy Paper Miniatures, Bonus Set One. These guys, I love these guys. I am fond of paper miniatures, you see, and I LOVE this awesome, cartoony style. You should look into this set and then make an RPG scenario that uses them. Especially the rooster ogres.

I am a twitchy bundle of salty nerve endings. If anyone has a spare shell that I could hermit-crab into, that would be just great.